My name is Angela and I am a fourth year at UC Irvine. As graduation is quickly approaching, I am at a season of my life where I am constantly questioning God, “Lord, what am I going to do in the future? Where are You going to take me after college? I need to know Your plans for me.” And undoubtedly, the thought of missions never left my mind.
I knew that after I came back from East Asia in 2K15, I wanted to go on STSM again. This decision was so easy for me at the time because through KCM STSM, God allowed me to see how much his heart breaks for the nations. However, as time passed and now as I am about to graduate and enter the “real world” where I must start paying rent, find a career, and take responsibility for my own life, the decision for me to go on missions suddenly became a daunting and terrifying thought. I am a pretty firm “J” on my Myers-Briggs personality type, which means I like having plans and sticking to a timetable. When I considered the possibility of going on missions this summer, I was frightened that my grad school plans would get delayed and I would fall behind on getting ahead with my prerequisites courses for OT school.
However, during Missions Rally Night, God wrecked me. As I was praying to the Lord, I felt Him tugging at my heart to surrender my life to Him and go on missions this summer. My fears and doubts ran across my mind, but then I was reminded of all the times God took care of me in the past, and God was ensuring me that my future was no less of a challenge for Him to take care of even now. When I began to remember God’s faithfulness over my life, it became so easy for me to say yes to God. Suddenly, what I thought was once a cost to go on missions didn’t seem like a cost at all, and it became a joy and privilege to be able to surrender my life into God’s hands.
I am so thankful for this opportunity to serve the Lord overseas once again. My first experience on KCM STSM was a disappointing one, but it was because I focused the entirety of the trip on myself. I expected God to use ME in great and mighty ways and I rejoiced in the idea that God was including ME in His redemptive plans. But as I made the decision to go again this year, I prayed that this time, God would not allow me to steal an inch of His glory away from Him but that He would solely receive all praise and honor through this trip. And what a coincidence that we are starting off STSM training by learning all about God’s glory!
During the first few trainings, we learned that God is completely chasing after His own glory and God created us to see, value and cherish this. And by doing so, God is showing us that He loves us because He wants to give us the most glorious and best gift He can possibly give to us, which is Himself. The more I learn about these things, the more I excited I am to share this Good News with people overseas and the more I feel that I cannot contain this joy.
But even as I am learning about these things and thinking that I am going on missions for His glory, it’s so easy for me to fall into my pride and “miss the mark” repeatedly. This past week, we learned that even if we do good things for God but He is not at the core of what we’re doing, and it is not for glorifying God, it is sin. Our issue with sin is not mainly about what we do but who we are in our sinful nature. I know I will continue to fall short of God’s glory, so please pray for me in these things:
– That I would have a heart that treasures God above all things
– That I would solely desire for God’s glory to be seen among the refugees in Greece
– That even if I do not see fruits come forth from this trip that I would still be able to give God all honor and praise